Symptoms

        Recently I acquired a husband. I find that the arrangement is mutually beneficial, like how I bleach the toilet and he brings pizza home from work. 

But really, when I was younger I really never could picture myself spending my life with someone. The idea of having another person in your space was unappealing. I am deeply introverted, and that trait plus years of retail experience and general constant anxiety caused me to vaguely dislike all people, generally. Now, knowing a person individually— I can get with that. But I don’t like parties, I detest the dating scene, and I loathe group projects. But I was also very lonely. So a life partner was something that I wanted, but I was anxious as to whether I’d find someone kind and chill and people-hating all at once.

But. Y o u   g u y s.

     I found him, and I learned that introversion and social anxiety isn’t by default a detriment to marriage. It’s like I had a small circle that was just me, and now he is also in that circle. And we only grow stronger. The desire to cancel plans and stay at home and eat yogurt has been multiplied to the power of two. Why go face the populace when we can create together, or share a beer on the porch, or lay on the couch and take turns telling the other person they should shower?

         I know a lot of other partners--dating long-term, short-term, married, or otherwise-- are a lot like us, completely content in just being with each other. And so, wielding my 3 years of extremely limited romantic wisdom with far too heavy a hand, I present to you:

    

Oh look, this post devolved into a conversation about functioning with anxiety! These are mostly just really negative thoughts I have all the time. What are some of yours? 

It looks different for everyone. We have our coping methods together, and others we do individually. I wish I had more to offer my readers other than that I hope you find healthy coping mechanisms, understanding and patient friends, and a deep sense of self-acceptance.